Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
