i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
