Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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