Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
