if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
