No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
