I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
