Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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