i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
