What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
