We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
