my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You left your phone here
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