remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
