I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My vagina is officially offended.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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