yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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