it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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