sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
