Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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