I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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