she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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