So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
