can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
