someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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