I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
