I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
