I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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