can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
