My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
