I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
