cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
