no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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