So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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