First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
