btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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