I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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