i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
