I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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