do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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