No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
