So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
