The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
