I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
