Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
