It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
