Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
