Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
