I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
