I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
