Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
