he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
