Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
