At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
