she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
