Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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