Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
