There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
