My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
