1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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