he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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