you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
